Relationship Problem Advice – Do You Ask Your Friends Or Do You Ask Google?

June 13, 2010

 By Renee Pullman

Most start off in a relationship without an understanding of not only their partners motivation but of their own as well. Where do we expect this relationship to go and why are we in it? These conflicting motives take most people into a relationship that will end sooner or later. Many times these conflicting motives and the other reasons for conflicts in relationships can be reconciled if the couple gets good relationship problem advice.

Relationships exist for a variety of reasons, usually there are a number of reasons are involved, and some of the reasons are more important that the others. While by no means complete, here is a list of 12 top reasons for relationships.

  1. Security
  2. Sex
  3. Companionship
  4. Love
  5. Friendship
  6. Common interests
  7. Ego (a beautiful woman or a handsome man on the arm).
  8. Money
  9. Need for family.
  10. Family and friends pressure
  11. Religious beliefs
  12. Attraction

Abraham Maslow came up with a list of The Hierarchy of Human Needs. All of these map into what Maslow described as being important. When you get past one need then the next need pops up as important. If you have no air, that is the only thing that you seem to need, if you have no food or water, that becomes important, and so on. Love and belonging come not far after satisfying our needs for providing for ourselves and our safety. These are most important, but what about our interpretation of how our reasons and ways of seeking love interplay?

If one partner comes to a relationship looking for security, while another comes primarily for sex then we have all the mixing for a toxic relationship. When these two say “I love you” it means two different things. When the partner seeking sex is ready to go then it will set a bomb off inside the head of the partner looking for security. That partner may become clingy as the ego is destroyed and this is accompanied by a spiral into depression.

We often hurt each other as we go into and out of relationships. We hurt each other because not only do we not understand our own motivations we don’t understand our partners motivations either. The conflicts if handled properly can result in a strong relationship. But letting these differing motivations twist our feelings and emotions as perhaps we don’t meet each others expectations can rip us apart and cause a great deal of pain in each others lives.

Where do you go for relationship problem advice. I invite you to visit http://relationshipproblemadvice.us/ and discover relationship advice and information.

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I Want My Ex Back Now, How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex?

January 14, 2010

By Renee Pullman

I want my ex back now. If that is what’s going on in your head, be patient. The “I want it now” attitude is maybe a factor in how you busted up in the first place. Most relationships break up over simple, stupid things. Impatience is one of these things. Regardless of the reason you want to know: how can I get together again with my ex.

  1. Arrange a meeting in a public place. You need to begin communications if you expect to get together. Having the meeting in a public place will help both of you keep your emotions under control.
  2. Both of you need to understand what happened if you want to fix the broken relationship. If it was a specific event or a series of things identify what has caused the break up.
  3. Be honest and open about your feelings. A relationship needs two way communications, watch your words but be honest about your feelings. Be descriptive so you can be understood. Remember that most people are not mind readers.
  4. Cage the nuance. This means really listen as your partner describes their feelings. Often our minds are at work on some internal dialog and we pay no attention. Really work on this because if you don’t know what your partner is communicating you can’t fix it.
  5. Perhaps bring a small gift, a single flower perhaps.

Be clear in your communication, keep the conversation civil. Talk about some good times and if the time seems right talk about ideas for the future. Fully understand the issue at hand – be sure that both of you do. If you are at fault apologize – don’t fix blame though. Rather discuss and come to understanding You have to have the feelings out there and you both have to be on the same page.

Don’t try to make your ex jealous or get into games or power trips – never try to “make” your ex take you back. Making someone do something is childish and it won’t last even if you do. But do make an effort to be at your best both in what you say and how you look.

If things go well, begin small dates, coffee, a movie, anything to have fun together. Don’t push it, keep communication going and you will get there. Your goal is to show them that there is still something special there, something worth working on together.

If you are struggling with a break up you need to learn strategies for getting an ex back. You can get your Ex back, you can save your marriage, save your relationship – learn how to get your ex back.

http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com is all about getting your Ex back.

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