Divorce For Men – Divorce Surprises – What Unwanted, Costly Surprise is Waiting For You?

November 19, 2009

By Renee Pullman

Many couples are able to work out most of the details of their divorce on their own and even though they may have lawyers they will save a lot of money because of it. Here is the rub: maybe you have this thing worked out between you and you are getting a budget divorce. Your attorney may not be paying as much attention as you would hope. A divorce “surprise’ might enter in to the picture. Consider this story which was inspired by real events:

Les And His Big Divorce Surprise

Teresa and Les signed their dissolution agreement and went on their separate ways. Teresa did very well with a nice maintenance agreement and Les quit claimed the house to her.

Two years go by and some months ago Les made his last payment to Teresa. He is now a free man. Les had married Marsha along the way and at last they can move from the apartment they were living in and into a house.

They found a nice place which is now within their budget and they made an offer to buy and had their offer accepted.

Now its Halloween 2009: Les answers the phone and the mortgage broker asks Les why he did not report his other mortgage and why it is in arrears.

Teresa had not been so good on the payments since her maintenance checks from Les had ended and now the old marital house is about to go into foreclosure.

Les had quit claimed the house to her and he thought he was done with it, surprise! Although Les had given up his interest in the house, he failed to realize that he could not give up his interest in the mortgage, the bank was not party to the divorce settlement and still holds him liable for the mortgage.

Not only had Les made a poor settlement with Teresa but now he has to pay again. No new home for Les and his new wife, and his Ex has screwed him once again.

What Other Surprises May Lurk In My Divorce?

There are many surprises and traps possible in any legal proceeding – like Les’s surprise or like thinking that you are getting a tax write off for the kids but failing to realize that if the agreement is not done right you may just have primed up yourself for yet another divorce surprise. The list goes on, you really do need to learn the processes of divorce if you expect to get the best settlement and win your divorce.

You can take the surprises out; you can understand the process and where the potential problems are. This way you will work better with your attorney and avoid the divorce surprises and traps that are out there.

Avoid Divorce Surprises

Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to avoid surprises and come out of divorce court without losing everything. Learn what it takes to win your divorce.

http://www.Squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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For Men Divorce Means Considering The Children

June 14, 2009

For men divorce can be even tougher when there are children.  Traditionally men suffered the loss of not only their spouse but to some extent their children and this was bad all the way around.  It’s not right and it doesn’t have to be.  You can become the custodial parent or get join custody.  No need to lose out all the way around.

When you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children.  After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way.  You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.

 

You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent.  This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future.  You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well.  You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.

 

Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything.  You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to.  Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you’re soon to ex spouse’s residence any time that they want.

 

You never want to distance yourself from your children.  You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent.  You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent.  It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults.  It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children’s sake. 

 

 

Do not try and buy the child’s affection with gifts and money.  You need to spend time with them and let them know that they are the most important things right now.  You need to keep all of your promises to them and do not abandon them for any reason. If you say that you are going to be there is a certain time, you need to be there. 

 

If you think that the child needs to have therapy, you should make the necessary arrangements. Do you feel your child needs to talk to someone, if they need to talk to a professional let them, as this is going to help a child in the long run.  It is crucial to the children to be able to discuss their feeling and to be reassured that they have nothing to worry about concerning the divorce.  It is nothing to be ashamed of and the child should be made to feel comfortable about all that is going on around them.