She has left and you are wondering, how to get your wife back. You love her but feel like you’ve been blindsided but you are willing to forgive. At some point you need to ask questions about what kind of relationship that you had and should you forgive. But for now let’s get past that and talk about how to go about getting the relationship back.
What happened, what was the thing that caused the breakup, what was your part, what things have you done to contribute to the breakup? There are always two parts to a breakup, often one partner is more at blame than the other but at some point these things feed each other. For example she overspends and you bitch at her. You come home late and you get a similar treatment from her. This type of action-response is getting your marriage nowhere and is the thing that has pushed you apart.
For months you may have been asking yourself, “how do you get your wife to love you, how do you get your wife to have sex with you?” Now she’s gone and you blame yourself. These kinds of things are symptoms and not causes of a breakup. These are reasons to let you know that your relationship is headed the wrong way. Instead of looking for those answers you need to look beyond and why those symptoms exist. For a successful treatment the doctor has to look at what is causing the problem and not just treat the symptoms. If you itch and scratch it and it turns out the itch was from poison ivy then you have done exactly the wrong thing. It is the same with relationships, you must learn to look beyond the symptoms and really understand what is happening.
Couples come into relationships with different expectations and with different needs and motivations. Failure to understand how you can meet each others needs is a recipe for a broken relationship either now or in the future. This is not just true for marriages but also for people who have just met. If you find your relationships fail to last then you need to consider this information carefully.
As to getting your wife back you need a solid plan. First, approach with confidence. No woman truly wants a clinging wimp who begs her to come back. Allow a little space while you get your head together and decide what it is that you really want out of a relationship. Then try to understand her needs and expectations and whether these are a good fit for yours. Now you have the basis of a discussion with her and you are ready to move forward and get your wife back.